LAGWAR | GAMING'S BEST IN TOP NOTCH MEDIOCRITY

Loyal readers!  Today marks a special day for all us WoW players (well actually yesterday) as WoW has just officially celebrated its 5^th birthday!  To commemorate this event I have a special treat planned.  Through various nefarious sources I was actually able to score an interview with WoW itself, as it celebrated its 5^th birthday.  Read on for the transcript of our conversation…

Raim:  WoW, I know you’re busy today so I will get right into it, after five years how are you feeling?

WoW:  Well Raim, I have to say I am feeling pretty good, after all, 5 years in MMO time works out to somewhere around 50 years of human time, and I still feel like I am in top form.

R: What keeps you there?  Do you have any tips for our readers?

W: Well basically, you just need to stay fresh.  Never stay the same, I have kept adding new content and experiences for the fans, it keeps everyone engaged.  I think you start getting old when you stop changing and redefining yourself.

R: I see, so we have seen you redefine yourself several times, what do you have going now?

Revitalization or mid-life crisis?

W:  Well, right now, I am working on implementing a new expansion, Cataclysm, it’s a complete revamp, new quests, storylines, instances, all set in old world Azeroth.

R: And how would you respond to your detractors?  People have said that this is a rushed patch without a lot of new content, for example, they say that the lack of new races and a new neutral city hurts the expansion.  Some people are calling it more of a mid-life crisis than a true expansion.

W: I have heard those comments, and frankly I disagree, Cataclysm will flesh out new zones in the old world as well as revamping the zones that are already present.  And there is going to be a lot of new content for players to explore, it will just be in the form of new stories as opposed to new continents.  I wouldn’t call it a mid-life crisis at all, more of a return to my roots.

R: And how do you respond to those people that say you have gotten too big for your own good, that you are too popular?

Being a popular game you get to meet interesting people

W: I think the fact that WoW is a household name just indicates what a good job I am doing.  I think having a large fanbase just makes me more enjoyable, a really nice atmosphere, vibrant environment, you know.  I think that response is just a counter-culture sort of thing, “lots of people like WoW so I am going to hate it” type of thing.  I have to say though, I never expected this much attention.  I mean I have been in Toyota commercials, hung out with Ozzie, Mr T., Felicia Day, even William Shatner, not to mention a bunch of cameos on some other shows.  Although I will admit the Mountain Dew thing is a little odd.

R: Do you drink it?

W: Oooh, yeah, no I don’t do that, dentist’s orders and all…

R: Do you think redefining yourself has helped you keep your fanbase, despite the release of a string of so-called “WoW-killers”?

W: Yeah, I hear that a lot.  That one game or another is a sure-fire WoW killer.  To be honest it doesn’t really concern me.  The newer games might have a little edge on me in graphics but I like to keep the focus on the story and characters.  I think that is what keeps people coming back.

R: The other common criticism leveled at you is that you have become easy, that you aren’t as challenging as you were before, maybe in an effort to appeal to more people.  What do you think about that?

W: This one is ridiculous.  People make that generalization based on EZ mode raiding.  Have you tried Anub’arak in TOC on hard mode?  Or Algalon?  Those are not easy fights, they are legitimately rough.  I think people confuse player friendly with player easy.  I am not too easy.  I think I am about the right level of approachable but challenging.  If all my raids were only able to be finished by the top 1% of guilds then no one would stick around.  On top of that, people have been judging based solely on raid difficulty.  How many loremasters do you know?  Or people that have maxed out professions?  Let me tell you, there are not as many as you would think.

R: Looking back over what you have accomplished in your five years, what is your most memorable moment?

W: Hmm, that is a tough one…I think I would say the opening of the Gates of Ahn’Qiraj.  That was special.  That was how a world event should be run.  Mobs pouring out relentlessly, heroes uniting to fight them back.  I have had a couple other world events since then, the zombie attacks, the elemental invasions, none have really held a candle to the opening of AQ.

R: And should we expect any events like this in the future?  Any definite plans?

W: (chuckles) Well Raim, suffice it to say I have some big things planned for Cataclysm, I really am not talking about them yet, but I think that it will be something much larger than even the Gates opening, something my fans will really enjoy.

R: I am certainly excited, anything planned for the big day today?

W: Actually I was just going to stay in and have a nice dinner with Onyxia, as you know we brought her back for my 5^th birthday…

R: (nervously) Really?  Is she, uh, here now? (looks around)…Hey, what is behind that ficus over there?  Is that Onyxia?

W: No…uh, of course not, that?!  No, no, that is my uh, my uh, pet iguana…

R:  …it looks a little like Onyxia…

W: I would have her over more the problem is there is just never anything to feed her…

R: Um, I have to leave, nowish….

W: …

Run!